"Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house." --Fran Lebowitz
"Willful ignorance comes at a price." --A. Tecacca

29 December 2010

Christmas 8

Micro Brewery Goes After Niche Market

Pronouns: Why bother?

over heard

“me and Emily are so over”
“she waited for Alex and I to join the group”
“her and I went to Vegas for the weekend”
“him and I are like blood brothers”
“the applause was for her and I”
“me and him watched TV before going out”
“Jake and I’s relationship is so…”

27 December 2010

Christmas 7

Developers ask Kentucky's Governor for additional tax breaks.

Frankfort, KY-  The developers of Ark Encounter, have asked Gov. Steven L. Beshear for additional tax incentives for the Bible-themed park to allow incorporation of other biblically-inspired attractions. Among those proposed are:

Abraham & Issac: A Father-Son Outdoor Activities Center 
a 400-seat restaurant: Cain & Abel’s Salad and BBQ
Eve’s Reptile Garden
The Fiery Furnace Sauna and Day Spa
Daniel’s Petting Zoo
Parting-the-Waters Wave Pool

26 December 2010

Christmas 6

Olfactory Muzak*

*If Muzak consisted only of Gilbert Gottfried and Sarah Palin singing country western songs with a backup chorus of bluejays and a vuvuzela band all at 210 dB.

24 December 2010

Massive Enormity P.S.A.

Remember, all men over 50 should have an annual digital prostate exam.

What's one more meth lab, it is Arizona after all.

Wisconsin Abandons Last Shred of Progressive Legacy

first the election, now this

Wisconsin on the Map to Pray With Mary

Such a good look for a Semitic woman.
Now, a little chapel among the dairy farms here, called Our Lady of Good Help, has joined that august company in terms of religious status, if not global fame. This month, it became one of only about a dozen sites worldwide, and the first in the United States, where apparitions of the Virgin Mary have been officially validated by the Roman Catholic Church.
In 1859, the year after Mary is said to have appeared in Lourdes, a Belgian immigrant here named Adele Brise said she was visited three times by Mary, who hovered between two trees in a bright light, clothed in dazzling white with a yellow sash around her waist and a crown of stars above her flowing blond locks. As instructed, Ms. Brise devoted her life to teaching Catholic beliefs to children.        

18 December 2010

Senate lifts military ban on gays

Senator McCain's Day Dream/Living Nightmare

House Republicans Block Child Marriage Prevention Act

from The Huffington Post
WASHINGTON -- On Thursday, the House took up the International Protecting Girls by Preventing Child Marriage Act of 2010. The bill would ensure that child marriage is recognized as a human rights violation, and develop comprehensive strategies to prevent such marriages around the world. The legislation seemed likely to garner strong bipartisan support in Congress, and in the Senate, it did. But last night, the bill was voted down in the House by Republicans who argued the bill is too costly and could lead to increased abortions -- gripes the measure's supporters say have no basis in reality and are just excuses to kill the popular bill.

John McCain's Nightmare # ???

John McCain didn't sleep last night!
Senate vote possible today

Tony Walsh, Ireland Pedophile Priest, Defended By Vatican Until Rape

DUBLIN — The Vatican tried to stop Dublin church leaders from defrocking a particularly dangerous pedophile priest and relented only after he raped a boy in a pub restroom, an investigation reported Friday.

"...und vhut do dees little notches on der shillelagh mean, Vater?"

13 December 2010

Monies that could be better spent on silks and ermines, and defending child rapers

Catholic League: “Funding Museums is Class Discrimination”

From a Dec. 6 press release on behalf of Catholic League president Bill Donohue:
In a large survey of museum-going households released in April, it was found that they are significantly better educated and affluent than the U.S. population; they are also overwhelmingly white. The time has come, then, to stop funding the leisure of rich white people: all public monies for the arts should cease. Quite frankly, to make the working class pay for the leisure of the rich amounts to class discrimination. In the spirit of social justice, a better case could be made to fund professional wrestling—it’s what the working class enjoy.

11 December 2010

In Kentucky, Noah’s Ark Theme Park Is Planned

Published: December 5, 2010  In The New York Times
    Facing a rising tide of joblessness, the governor of Kentucky has found one solution: build an ark. Gov. Steven L. Beshear said that he was elected “to create jobs,” not “to debate religion.”
    The state has promised generous tax incentives to a group of entrepreneurs who plan to construct a full-size replica of Noah’s ark, load it with animals and actors, and make it the centerpiece of a Bible-based tourist attraction called Ark Encounter.

"Hey Shem, kin ya git me one of them cubitsticks and some air freshener next time you're up to the Home Depot?"

"Does this go with gray? Can I 'mix-n-match' ?"

10 December 2010

"Best thing since ManTan, and it's cheaper too."

thank you Hysterical Raisins

John McCain's Temporary Reprieve Dream

from the New York Times
Senate Stalls Bill to Repeal Gay Policy in Military
WASHINGTON — In a blaze of unusual bipartisan fury, a military policy bill that would repeal the ban on gay and lesbian soldiers serving openly in the military stalled in the Senate on Thursday, severely diminishing the chances of ending the Clinton-era policy this year.

and 'Diaper Dave' certainly knows all about 'drilling'

from the Huffington Post

David Vitter Blocks Obama NOAA Nominee Over Offshore Drilling Halt

image source

WASHINGTON — The Obama administration won't be able to fill a key science position until it testifies about a decision to block areas of the eastern Gulf and Atlantic seaboard from new oil and gas drilling, a Republican senator said Thursday.

08 December 2010

Thank You for Bringing the Revolution a Little Bit Closer

Obama, GOP reach deal to extend tax cuts
from the AP
WASHINGTON – Brushing past Democratic opposition, President Barack Obama announced agreement with Republicans Monday night on a plan to extend expiring income tax cuts for all Americans, renew jobless benefits for the long-term unemployed and grant a one-year reduction in Social Security taxes.

John McCain's Nightmare # 27

"Oh god, show tunes!"