Good News / Bad News: You Decide

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Wanna bet infrastructure, especially grade crossings suddenly becomes a priority?

Man without spine confounds medical science by being able to jump up and down like a teenage girl at a high school pep rally.

Ryan fighting desperately to keep Nunes from displacing his lips from Trump's rectum.

Slogans for a Revolution

And be sure to ask for it by name!

Getting pumped for his first SOTU.

still classy after all these years

no link to original because why would you want to give them any more recognition

From Russia With(out) Love

Everybody in the whole cell block was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock.

There once was a naïve goody two-shoes

Whose gross failures to disclose rocked the news.

Being the son-in-law

Rubbed many of us raw,

And his downfall will be sure to amuse.

RNC Finance Chair/Casino Mogul and Ed Gein Impersonator Steve Wynn Hit With Sex Misconduct Allegations From Multiple Employees

How quickly, do you suppose, Tony will change his tune when it comes out that one of the Moscow 'shower team' is named Ivan or Sergei?

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Another Example of Gender Inequality

Stormy Daniels received just $130K from Trump in 2016 while the NRA paid Paul Ryan $171K.

Trump Ordered Mueller Fired, but Backed Off When White House Counsel Threatened to Quit*

So he wanted to give Mueller the boot.  

(Perhaps on an order from Pooty-Poot?)

It seems collusion

Is no delusion.

I can't wait to see him in a striped suit!

*link to NY Times

Idolaters get their collective panties in a bunch. AGAIN!

Imagine the bumper sticker on their car.

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Mississippi Democrat Credell Calhoun introduces House Bill 1100

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As we have long suspected,

Paul Ryan likes big Koch.

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"Hey who hasn't paid* off a porn star now and then?"

*Thanks daddy!

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Man destroys myth that women are the only ones to experience multiple sequential orgasms.

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Trump Reportedly Uses ‘Accent’ To Imitate Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi*

Oh my goodness,
would I be making fun of someone?

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"And believe me, I know something about shitholes."

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You know, maybe we don't need any more Norwegians after all.

Amen

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Seriously, who wouldn't want to throw a punch at that?

The Germans have a word for it:  Backpfeifengesicht 

a face that deserves a smack

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P is for President, Porn Star, and Pee

Later

усадки!*

*shrinkage!

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RUSSIAN COLLUSION!

With the electorate idiocracy

We get the government we deserve.

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and by the way, how's your Medicaid?

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Unintended Consequences of Religious "Freedom"

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Manning for Senate: It's Your Choice

and in the meantime, flames on Palatine Hill grow higher

Nor much else, it would seem.

What did you expect? Missouri is the 'Show Me' state.

No longer stealing credit from others...

SHITHOLE or SHITHOUSE

It's only a matter of proximity; neither is a bed of roses. 
And it is the first syllable of this compound word that is critical!

Sweet Refrain

Yes I am the very model of a modern stable genius.

I know things categorical like phyla, order, and genus.

I fight against the New York Times with a constant stream of Twitter

From the Oval Office, in my bed, or even on the shitter.

And on a daily basis, I am nothing much more than feckless.

However, from time to time, I can be so completely reckless.

Those kneeling football players are making America look bad.

Why things have come to this is something I do not understand. SAD!!!

Did you think you would get away without hearing of my penis?

I am still the very model of a modern stable genius.

Have you noticed that I mention my dick every time I'm able?

That's because I am a genus—one that is so very stable.

There was a time when this would have been the title of a B movie or a short-lived sitcom.

How could this, in any way, be a surprise?

¡Como el ceviche de tres días de edad!

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Eka Hola Kasiha Ababa Hoka Jebu Kashila

Our President fears the folks from Shitholia.

Because he listens to the Glossolalia.

Pandering to the 'Christian' base,

He tortures the language of race.

However he doesn't know shit from Shinola.

three, two, one...

Claims he's a genius— brilliant and stable.

Lunatic is a more fitting label.

With the button and his finger,

I am away (mustn't linger),

To duck and cover under a table.

Ronnie to Donnie

PS: Dick Nixon can't wait to shake your hand.

"Many, many years from now in a nursing home, or a nice retirement community, Barack Obama will be still living in a fantasy life," Gingrich said. "*

 Newt's Dream Redux

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Just Sayin'

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la la la la la la la

The President's Loyal Supporters Come Through

*our kind of guy

From The Top

I am the very model of a modern stable ge-ni-us.
And have I mentioned my great, large, and magnificent pe-ni-us?
I can be capricious, moody, and totally mischievous.
The damage I do daily runs from terrible to grie-v-ous.
I swat at flies and little twits; I swear it gives Ivanka fits.
I will face all Twenty-Twenty challenges even if it's Mitt's.

I do fear an interview with Mueller might lead to my defeat.

Thus I'll be pro-active and strike him with a devastating Tweet!

And let us hear it one more time for my glorious pe-ni-us.
I continue to be the model of a stable ge-ni-us.

The Flame Goes Out

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Trump Apologizes to 'Shithole' Countries: Henceforth Will Refer to Them as the 'Turd-World'.

Despite the criticism, the White House did not walk back the president’s remarks. “Certain Washington politicians choose to fight for foreign countries, but President Trump will always fight for the American people,” White House principal deputy press secretary Raj Shah said in a statement to CBS News.