"Ish Johnnie Walker you you you sthupid ash hole!"

original

Hey, at least they have a warm place to work this winter!

original

APPEARANCE: oily-- COLOR: weak tea-- pH: 1.8-- DENSITY: low-- SPECIFIC GRAVITY: undetectable-- CLARITY: poor-- [COMMENTS: noxious stench]

" 'til death do you part..."

original

In light of recent developments, US Olympic hopeful Candii Wasserman alters her skating costume.

You think Russia is scary? Just wait for Rio!

Canada breathes sigh of relief and replies: "He's your problem now, eh."

original

Great Moments in Superstition IX

Too Numerous to Mention

Best Buy? 3

Taking their hands out of your children's pants just long enough to pick your pockets

source

Starting As Soon As Possible

To paraphrase Georges Bizet: "If the public wants shit, I'll give them shit".

From the bowels of the FOX News Organization

The 'affluenza' defense? What's next, 'pauper panic'??

"I simply had to shoot him. 

He was making unnatural advances on my wallet."

Where are they now?

Mitt Romney enjoys the new elevator in his La Jolla, California home.

As in 'Beating the Bishop'?

original

Rough Translation: *young Korean girls; $5 for 5 minutes

original

Christmas-- Alberta, Canada; circa 1976

Bah Humbug

On the sixth night of Christmas, MeGyn Kelly is terrified by a hideous nightmare.

"They're supposed to be white;
they've always been white!"

Best Buy? 2

Cracker Barrel: Once again catering to all your Cracker needs.

I'm sorry sir, I can't accept your sample, that Whizzenator* is no more convincing than your hair piece.

*

Unfair and off balance: Palin on Duck Dynasty

No real surprise

source

considering they believe this

and elect this

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

In light of recent Supreme Court decisions, Canada's favorite publicity whore reconsiders retirement.

original
source

Despite all the swag he has scored while in office, Pretty Boy Bob is really hoping for some 'Soap on a Rope' this Christmas.

source

Phil Robertson refuses to sit in the back of the pickup.

Just what we need, another douche bag in Congress.

source

Best Buy? 1

FOX News Christmas Office Party Features Edgar Winter As Santa Claus

Just in time for Christmas--Not the 'Holidays'----- CHRISTMAS!

"Ach, Vallis you look zo schöne tonight."

original

What's Next?

Brother Husbands?

source

Ho Canada

original

Hardly a surprise, they do have a history of confusing fiction and reality.

not to mention racism

original

Stop right there. How many times do we have to tell you? URINE not semen!

MeGyn presents more evidence supporting her case.

An 'auto-auto de fe'?

source

Sort of puts new meaning in Continental 'Congress'

original

Well, it's about time.

While you're at it, here's another sign 

that would be useful for Facebookers.

KOLOB, pre 1978

original

Kingston now admits he plagiarized Newt Gingrich.

DELTA? Are sure it was DELTA? Hello! Have you ever flown on DELTA?

US Airways maybe?

original

Well can they? #tecacca #idiots

Would you like a side of Freedom Fries with that?

link