More apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan

I am the very model of a modern, stable ge-ni-us.

I've body parts quite sizable: hands, fingers, and my pe-ni-us.

I come from Queens, and am often given to flights hysterical,

That I won the election is something oddly numerical.

I'm very well acquainted, too, with all matters romantical,

I understand seduction, both the unwanted and despicable,

In short, in matters sexual, political, and hei-ni-ous

I am the very model of a modern stable ge-ni-us.